So I sit here tonight, drinking a nice cup of tea, and trying to get some sort of enthusiasm together to finish a very exciting
exceedingly dull distance learning course I am completing through my job. Subject: Customer Service. With my background in Retail Management this should be a walk in the park right?!
I chose to do this course. They are offered free through my job and I have been completing them to boost my CV ever so slightly, and it looks good at my yearly appraisal. However, they are very uninspiring. And as such, I was meant to have completed this by last October. My Assessor has been very lovely so I have not been told off
I can’t finish it because it is just. so. dull. I literally fall asleep exactly 5 minutes after logging online and opening the questions. And tonight this has got me thinking about lots of other things I have wanted to do, have started, and then never finished….
- The Distance Learning Interior Design Course. I was going to complete this and start an amazingly profitable business designing all my friend’s homes
cries with laughter. What I actually completed: 1 mood board from Unit 1. FAIL
- Altering Husband’s posh trousers. He bought them in good faith that I was going to shorten them for him immediately. I did one leg and then they sat on the back of a chair in our first flat for approximately 6 months..then into the wardrobe..then into the charity shop. He never got to wear them. FAIL
he NEVER lets me forget this
- The Teacher Training Degree. In all seriousness, I feel quite shit about this one. I skipped off to Uni aged 18 ready to become the Best. Teacher. Ever. After about a month I was a bit unsure..but damn did I enjoy Uni life. So I kept at it
but rang in sick for most of my teaching practice days. Funnily enough I failed the year after the school I was attached too asked me to not come back. Oops. I had already secured a place on a different course by that point. But there is no way I was mature enough for that course. I was a ‘young’ 18 and I was overwhelmed by the seriousness of it all..and just wanted to get drunk, snog boys and buy clothes. FAIL
- Gym Memberships. Various. Since 1998. FAIL
- Spiralize Things. I bought this on 26th December 2015. I was going to Spiralize the shit out of my life and drop to a Size 8 in a week. It was returned on 27th December 2015, unused. I was marched back to the shop by Husband who asked me if I was stupid. FAIL
- Photobooks. I always get a bit giddy thinking about these. I think they are a brilliant idea. For people like me with a rubbish memory, my photos are so precious to me. So I started making photobooks. I have finished 3. But I have approximately 300 partly finished books saved on various photobook websites
waves nervously at Snapfish and Photobox. My excuse for not finishing them…I am waiting for the amazing 40%, 50%, 60% etc. discount codes to drop into my mailbox. Until then…FAIL!!
There are many, many more examples, but I am determined that this blog will not be one of them. Since addressing my mental health issues over the last two years, one of the things I have been trying to work on is not over-planning my life and then feeling like I can’t achieve anything. I would have so many ‘lists’ in my head, and I didn’t complete anything on them. This would then add to my feelings of failure in general.
Attending counselling and beginning medication has helped me be able to see things clearer and prioritise tasks better. I hope this continues.
Now please excuse me while I try to finish this sodding course!! xxx
***UPDATE! 26th February I finished the sodding course!***